How to Spell Naija (Nigeria)


N is for NEPA, Never Expect Power Always or whatever they are called now. A leopard can never change it’s tattoo, sorry I meant spots.

I is for illness, the nation is sick! I’m not talking about Ebola or Lassa fever, malaria or typhoid, I mean corruption in its most chronic and cancerous state. I is for insurgence, for Boko Haram and frequent bombing in the north.

G is for gates i.e Dasukigate et al, gates made for the cabal by the cabal and of the cabal. Blessed art thou if you’re a gateman.

E is for EFCC which means Economy Falling as Currency Crumbles, what do you expect from a nation that is so dependent on dollar, which is to say others, for its sustenance. There’s a new hashtag #BuyNaijaToGrowNaira, kudos to the common sense aka Twitter senator, it is now trending while the naira keeps descending.

R is for robot. The masses are robots, zombies, shuffering and shmiling as Fela puts it. They can’t even unite and fight for their rights against the repressive government. All we can do is rant on social media or at best via literature like I’m already doing.

I is for INEC – Indepent National Electoral Camouflage. A sham and a smokescreen where free and fair rigging is perpetrated using ballot boxes and ink stained thumps.

A is for Anger. I dey vex, my people dey provoke cos the country is so fucked up and we are all screwed. But like the adage goes no matter how angry one gets, it still won’t boil yam. A is for APC who promised Change in exchange for the ‘change’ leftover in our pockets.


12 thoughts on “How to Spell Naija (Nigeria)

  1. Rujeko

    Nice one! You’re really up to your neck with the power cuts aren’t you? You keep this blog alive and kicking! Maybe one day, it would help orchestrate movements that might change some of thisse abbreviations! The creativity in presentation is baie lekker!(afrikaans)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, the power cuts is really frustrating. One can’t write at night cos then there’s no electricity and the generator noise from neighbours around is ear boggling like one is living in an industrial project. If you ask any Nigerian what one thing they really want the government to provide, you’ll get a unanimous answer which would be “uninterrupted power supply”.

      Liked by 1 person

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